Friday must have been:

        Take Your Spouse to Work Day

                        in Buffalo Oklahoma.

Your Inside Buffalo editor visited Buffalo City Hall Friday morning for the first time in almost a year. I was there doing my duty as a citizen of Buffalo by submitting my request to be included on the Town of Buffalo’s Capital Improvement Planning Committee as written about in a prior article. Click Here

Now I know, for a fact, that some of you dread, absolutely dread going into city hall and encountering such a cheer-filled staff representing our great town, but I can’t for the life of me understand why.

Is it because the spouse of the town treasurer who verbally attacked you while physically attempting to assault you and had to be held back by his daughter-in-law, the mayor, at a town board meeting is sitting there in all his smugness? Nahhh, that has no bearing on it.

Is it because you appreciate it when you walk into City Hall that you’ll be acknowledged with a warm smile and a greeting of “welcome to City Hall”? Nope! It doesn’t happen.

Do you dread going there because the up to date and modern appurtenances make you feel inferior?

It doesn’t matter what your reasons are - but today – Friday the 29th of May, in the year Two Thousand Nine was a great day to visit City Hall because the Treasurer’s spouse was there, AGAIN, as he is on many occasions.

Yup! Bouncer Bill, such an intimidating force, there perchance to intimidate any who decided to present their requests to be on the CIP Committee before the Noon deadline? Maybe not, absolutely not. There he was, Bouncer Bill, relaxing in the official office of the Town Treasurer, examining all the happenings at City Hall, viewing the bills being paid, the citizens going to and from the building, the plumbing contractors and staff of the Town doing their business. Of course, he was there on official business! He was there as an overseer of the Town’s private and public business operations. All official Town business must be conducted in front of the Town Treasurer’s husband or it’s not “official” Town business. It’s his stamp of approval and delving into each resident’s personal business with the city that makes it official.

I also visited ODOT this day and, you know what? I never saw a non employee spouse of anyone sitting in their offices with any of the State employees. Then when I went into Love’s Convenience Store, I didn’t see any of the employees there sitting with their spouses. I looked, I really looked hard. None of the employees were working stocking shelves or baking bread in the Subway Sandwich portion of the store with their spouse at their side.

I thought it odd but maybe I wasn’t aware that today was “Take Your Spouse to Work Day” so I meandered over to the Library thinking aloud, maybe the librarian’s husband will be sitting there by her side, with nothing better to do but observe and put his ‘official’ seal of approval on the library’s business. Wouldn’t you know? He wasn’t there! Then to be sure I wasn’t way off base here, I quickly moved to one of the library computers and punched in a search for the official day to “Take Your Spouse to Work” - Check this out… It wasn’t today! In fact, it looks like the official take your spouse to work day is in Bullvember, on the 35th day.

Bullvember? A BullSpit Month if I ever saw one. It’s bullspit! City Hall is not the place for a husband to be sitting in the office of the Treasurer of the Town while business with the City is being conducted – is it?

Continuing with the reason for the City Hall visit today…
I was there to present my letter for requesting to serve on the CIP Committee. I did just that. I submitted, on my personal letterhead, a short list of qualifications and expressed my desire to serve on the committee. The article in the newspaper directed one to include why a person would want to be on the committee, however, I purposely left that off because it indubitably appeared, at least to me, to be- redundant – unneeded.

As an analogy; It would be like asking your 4 year old little girl why she wants a cookie. Or it is more like the answer you would get as to why a town trustee wants to be a town trustee. We’ve heard all the answers before and they are superfluous. I could have gone into a harangue about the typical reasons and provide a canned response; “ I want to help my fellow man” – “ I want to make Buffalo better” – “ I want to try bring world peace” - You know all that made-up BS which amounts to nothing!

I know you know what I am alluding to.

Think back to your last television viewing of the Miss America pageant, when they ask, as they always do: “Why do you want to be the next Miss America? We get a response along the lines of: “Well, currently my armpits are being chafed by this stupid, sequined gown, which I can’t wait to remove and jump into some comfortable jeans, but to answer your question Alex, as in Trebek, of Jeopardy fame…
I want to be Miss America because I believe that the future of NATO relies heavily on the message its representatives relay to the general public. I also want to promote myself shamelessly for the money and for my platform, Arm Pit Chafing Awareness, but beyond that, I really would promote the Miss Piggy for President campaign at the same time. The United States is a country rich in tradition and is often defined by not only what it promotes but by what it produces. Miss Piggy laid a corner stone hundreds of years ago beginning in the 1970’s, and while that message has evolved throughout the years, we must all do what we can to market and preserve her beliefs that young woman can be and do whatever they want and they should seek a frog in their lives every day. Educating the nation about the importance of the legacy is essential to the survival and preservation of the Miss Piggy forum. She has not only been a paradigm for women but also an icon that has inspired both the young and old to believe bright, beautiful, educated, and talented women like little old me can be elected Miss America and make a @#!*-load of money!

Say what?

Anyway, I refrained from compiling a bunch of meaningless nonsense and inserting it into my request to be included on the Committee. Off to City Hall I go to present my letter to Buffalo's ever-so-cheerful treasurer.

I entered the hallowed halls of City Hall and approached the counter between the hall and the Treasurer’s office. Not a word was spoken. I stood there for a few seconds awaiting a greeting or some form of salutation but when thence , it was not forthcoming, I produced the letter and handed it to Buffalo’s revered Town Treasurer. I then stood silent, awaiting a response, a thank-you, a, glad you were here, a nice to see you dude, or scum bag or some form of adjective to describe me, but disappointingly, I never got any verbal response.
No, I didn’t get a thank you.
No Sirree, I didn’t get an “I love your articles at Inside Buffalo dot Net” nor did I get an “I hate you – you…you…”
Really – I was awaiting this:

Your Birth Certificate is Here! It’s in the form of an Apology from the Condom Factory!

Or

“Do you have to leave so soon? I was just getting ready to offer you some poison coffee”

I didn’t get any of that, nothing, no acknowledgement, no thank you, no hello. I wasn’t expecting any of those respectful gestures given that I may be, perhaps, the most hated person, by the powers that be, in this town’s history.

I love this Town!